Bibliotherapy

I recently went to a self-reliance seminar that had a great class about helping to instill confidence and self esteem in your children.  The instructor is a counselor in a local school district and has worked with kids for years.  She presented a great lesson, followed by some excellent handouts.  This particular handout focuses on using books to help teach (with some excellent recommendations if you or your child are struggling with a specific scenario).

What is Bibliotherapy?

According to Wikipedia.org, "bibliotherapy" is an expressive therapy that uses an individual's relationship to the content of books and poetry and other written words as therapy.

Bibliotherapy is an old concept in library science.  In the U.S.it is documented as dating back to the 1930s.  The basic concept behind bibliotherapy is that reading is a healing experience.  It was applied to both general practice and medical care, especially after WWII, because the soldiers had a lot of time on their hands while recuperating.

At its most basic, bibliotherapy consists of the selection of reading material that has relevance to that person's life situation.  The idea of bibliotherapy seems to have grown naturally from the human inclination to identify with others through their expressions in literature and art.  The concept of bibliotherapy has widened over time, to include self help manuals for adults.  Still, the phrase is most often used in reference to children.

Bibliotherapy can give children the confidence they need to deal with anything that comes their way.  It also gives parents an opportunity to discuss it with their children and find out what is going on.  Bibliotherapy can consist solely of reading, or it can be complemented with discussion or play activity.  A child might be asked to draw a scene from the book or asked whether commonality is felt with a particular character in the book.  The book can be used to draw out a child on a subjuect she/he has been hesitant to discuss.

Basically, bibliotherapy can be a way for parents to open communication with children about problems their children may be having.  Books chosen for bibliotherapy should be developmentally appropriate for the child and shared with the child in a caring way.

In my opinion, reading scriptures is the highest form of bibliotherapy!!  Certain stories either told or read in the scriptures can be "likened" to our own children's experiences (see 1 Nephi 19:23).  Other resources for bibliotherapy may include personal histories of ancestors or often told stories about meaningful experiences that family members have had, etc.  You may already have been using bibliotherapy in your family and didn't even know what it was!!

Here are some book titles that are recommended for certain scenarios (along with a link so you can look them over at Amazon.com).

Anxiety / Fear

You've Got Dragons, by Kathryn Cave

Wemberly Worried, by Kevin Henkes (kids refusing school)

The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn (kids refusing school)

Smile a Lot, by Nancy Carlson (school problems)

Thank You, Mr. Falkner, by Patricia Polacco (learning disability)

What if the Shark Wears Tennis Shoes?, by Winifred Morris

The Knight Who Was Afraid of the Dark, by Barbara Hazen

Anger

What are You so Grumpy About?, by Tom Lichtenheld

If You're Angry and You Know It, by Cecily Kaiser

When I Feel Angry, by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Andrew's Angry Words, by Dorothea Lachner

Feeling Angry, by Althea Braithwaite

I'm Not Going to Chase the Cat Today, by Jessica Harper

When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry, by Molly Bang

Alex and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst

Bullying / Friendships

How to Lose All Your Friends, by Nancy Carlson

Some Dogs Do, by Jez Alborough

Charlie the Caterpillar, by Dom De Luise

A Bad Case of Stripes, by David Shannon

King of the Playground, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

My Rotten Redheaded Older Brother, by Patricia Polacco

I Like Myself!, by Karen Beaumont

Feelings

Today I Feel Silly & Other Moods That Make My Day, by Jamie Lee Curtis

How Are You Peeling?  Foods With Moods, by Saxton Freyman & Joost Elffers

My Many Colored Days, by Dr. Seuss

The Feelings Book, by Todd Parr

Honesty / Tattling

Ruthie and the Not So Teeny Tiny Lie, by Lara Rankin

Edward Fudwupper Fibbed Big, by Berkeley Breathed

Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal, by Jeanie Franz, Ransom

Tattlin' Madeline, by Carol Cummings

A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue, by Julia Cook

Miscellaneous

The Dog Poop Initiative, by Kirk Weisler (boy taking initiative)

The Paper Bag Princess, by Robert Munsch & Michael Martchenko (assertive girl)

Queen Bees and Wannabes, by Rosalind Wisement (for teenage girls)

The Feeling Good Handbook, by David D. Burns, M.D.

**Patrick K. Hallinan has a whole series of social skills books for very yound children called: My first Day of School, My Teacher's My Friend, That's What a Friend Is, etc.

**Cheri J. Meiners has a whole series of social skills books for young children called: Listen, Follow Instructions, Share and Take Turns, Talk and Work it Out, I'm Afraid, etc.

Personally, we read a lot at our house, and I am excited to try some of these books I haven't heard of before.  I'd love feedback if any of you have great book recommendations!

Helping Your Child Attend and Intend to Communicate

This article from Kids on the Move talks about how treating your child like they are a born communicators helps train them to become just that!  It also discusses ways to help children develop these abilities if it doesn't seem to come naturally.  A good read if your child struggles with communication skills.

Helping Your Child Attend and

Intend to Communicate

Do any of the following characteristics describe your child?

- My child doesn't pay attention when I talk to him or try to show him things.

- My child doesn't enjoy playing with toys with me or showing me what she's playing with.

- My child doesn't try to get my attention to notice what he's discovered or what he sees.

- My child won't listen and doesn't seem interested when I try to read a storybook.

- My child's attention span seems short, and she moves quickly from one toy to another as if she doesn't know what to do with them.

These behaviors are all related to joint attention and communicative intent.  Join attention is the ability to share interest in the same object or event with another person.  It includes looking at, pointing to, talking about, or playing with the same objects or events.  Communicative intent is the ability to communicate about these interesting objects or events.  These communications include asking questions, making comments, requesting turns, rejecting objects or turns, and commanding others.  Joint attention and communicative intent both begin to develop during the first days of life.  Poor development in these areas may cause children to have many language and learning problems.

How Do Joint Attention and Communicative Intent Develop?

At birth, infants and their parents spend many hours establishing joint attention.  Their attention is focused on each other.  Parents look into the infant's eyes, and the infant gazes back.  Parents focus attention on the one thing that the child is able to attend to at this age: they attend to the child's body.  Parents encourage the infant to touch, to grasp an adult's finger, and to respond to their voices by talking in a high pitch with exaggerated vocal changes.  The adult's attention on the infant's body helps the infant learn how to share attention.

At the same time, parents treat infants as if they are born communicators.  If the infant hears a noise and widens her eyes, the parent considers that to be a comment about the sound.  The parent answers saying "Did that noise scare you?" or "Yes, your brother dropped the block."  Parents know that the infant was only reacting to the sound, but they behave as if the child communicated something meaningful and intentional.  Every burp, cry, hiccup, or sigh is reacted to as if it were communicating a comment, a request, a protest, or a command.

Three-month-old infants are able to attend to things other than their own bodies.  They begin to look at rattles, stuffed animals, colorful toys, and other interesting things their parents show them.  The joint attention now focuses on these objects.  Parents show and talk about objects, encouraging the child to look at and to try to touch, hold, or explore.  Every smile, hand movement, wiggle, or reach is treated as if it were a sentence requesting, commenting about, asking for, or rejecting the object.  The bond between the parent and the child increases during these mutually enjoyable "conversations."

Because they are treated as intentional communicators from the first day of life, infants become intentional communicators before the first birthday, usually about 10 months of age.  But some children have difficulty establishing these bonds.  They don't seem interested in watching their parents or looking at and talking about the things parents show them.  They show resistance, throw temper tantrums, leave, or attend to something else.  Their attention spans seems very short.  These behaviors are confusing to parents, who may feel hurt, frustrated, and even angry at times.  Parents know that the child isn't learning very much about objects used by people or the language used to talk about them, but their attempts to teach the child don't seem to work.

What Can Be Done?

You can help.  There are strategies you can use if your child has not learned how to attend jointly to objects with you or to communicate intentionally about them.  Play simple games that establish joint attention and communicative intent at the same time.  Follow the suggestions and guidelines outlined here:

- Select interesting toys.  Your child will attend to things that are interesting.  Interesting things are usually colorful and textured, make interesting sounds, or do interesting actions.  Children typically enjoy puppets, stuffed animals, music boxes, wind-up toys, and toys with push buttons and levers.  You will soon discover which things are interesting to your child and which are not.

- Share the toy.  If your child is holding an interesting toy, then there is no reason to include you.  To get joint attention, you must hold the toy and bring it to your child for a turn.  During this turn, the puppet might kiss the child or nibble on fingers and toes.  Or your child might turn the dial or push the button on a toy.  During this turn, you should talk about what your child is doing ("Push the button all the way," "Turn the dial") or about the toy ("The puppet's getting your toes!" "The music sounds pretty").

- Withhold the toy.  The turn should last only a few seconds.  Then hold the toy just out of the child's reach to encourage your child to indicate he wants another turn to play.

- Give and take away.  Bring the toy back to your child for another turn.  Then, after a few seconds, hold the toy at a distance once again and encourage another request for a turn.  You might say things like "Now what?" or "What do you want?"  Continue playing the game through cycles of encouraging the child to communicate, interpreting some behavior as a request for a turn or providing a turn with the toy while you jointly attend to and talk about it, then holding the toy at a distance to set up another cycle.

- Respond to requests.  Indicating the desire for another turn is one type of communicative intent.  During early stages of this play, you may have to respond to a random hand or foot movement or other unintentional behavior.  Treat these behaviors as if they are requests for a turn.  Respond to these random movements just as parents respond to hiccups and burps.  If you behave as if your child is communicating (even when the child isn't), your child will begin to learn how communication works.

- Be patient and continue.  If your child at first resists and fusses, don't give up.  This new way of interacting may seem different and confusing to your child.  Patiently continue to play the game, choosing some behavior to treat as a communicative intent and then jointly attending to your child's play with the toy.

- Recycle.  Your child should start to enjoy the game and should start to do something the keep the game going.  Your child might purposefully hold out a foot if you have been reacting to foot movements.  Or your child might purposely hold out a hand to request a turn with the toy.  As soon as you see these behaviors, provide a turn and continue the cycle.  If your child does not give you a purposeful communication on the next turn, then respond to a random movement again.  Your child is just learning to communicate, and it may take quite awhile to figure out how it works.

- Combine action of toys.  Once your child starts to play the game very successfully, add more complexity.  For example, during the child's turn, put a puppet on the child's hand and then bring over a second toy, such as a cup, a plastic apple, or a hairbrush.  Encourage your child to feed the puppet or brush its hair.  Your child is now learning to attend to objects away from her body.

- Continue cycles.  Continue the cycles: wait for your child to signal a request, present the puppet and other objects for a short turn, and talk about the objects and actions, then hold the toys at a distance to encourage another turn.

- Model language.  Use language yourself that your child can use to request a turn.  Point to the hairbrush and say, "Let me brush his hair" or "Give me the brush."  Model other communicative intents, such as having the puppet protest ("Ouch!  That hurts!"), comment ("My hair is pretty now"), or command ("Brush behind my ears").

- Add steps.  Continue to increase complexity by adding more steps to the play.  During one turn, brush the hair of several puppets, stuffed animals, and dolls, or dry their hair with a towel before brushing it and then looking in a mirror.  Talk about and encourage your child to talk about these events.

- Talk about details.  Begin to focus on parts of objects, talking about the same object or event in detail.  Talk about these details as you point to them.  Talk about the ears or nose of the stuffed animal as they are brushed.  Refer to their length, color, size, shape, spots, smoothness, and so on.  Encourage the child to talk to and about the animals and the ongoing actions.

- Introduce storybooks.  As you look through story-books with your child, talk about the pictures as outlined in the previous step.  If your child has difficulty attending to pictures, demonstrate the depicted actions using similar stuffed animals and objects.  Invite your child to point to parts of the picture, and then talk about what is seen.  Point to parts of the picture, and ask your child to talk about them.

Summary

You can establish joint attention and communicative intent through enjoyable play and storybook reading with your child.  You can also use the same cycles of communication and attention during dressing, eating, and other daily routines.  These interactions teach children how to focus attention and communicate.  Soon children become independent learners who can talk about their world.

Janet A. Norris, Ph.D., CCC-SLP

Copyright 1995 by Communication Skill Builders, a division of The Psychological Corporation / 1-800-866-4446

This page may be reproduced for instructional use. / Catalog No. 3073

Promoting Oral Motor Skills at Home

Another handout from Kids on the Move.

This is great if you suspect your child is having issues with oral motor; it gives you signs to watch out for, and several exercises that you and your child can do together at home to strengthen the muscles in and around the mouth.

Promoting Oral Motor Skills at Home

If your child experiences oral motor difficulties, you may see some or all of the following problems: drooling, poor lip closure, mouth breathing, inability to suck a straw or blow out candles, chewing with mouth open, or the tongue protruding outside of the mouth.  If your child has developed speech, you may be hearing poor articulation of sounds, a nasal quality to the voice, or speech that sounds slushy or slurry.

The oral structures (lips, tongue, jaw, and throat) are made up of many muscles that must work closely together to produce clear, well-articulated speech and safe swallowing.  If weakness or poor muscle coordination exists, the exercises listed below can improve strength and coordination.  Much like exercising to keep our bodies fit, the oral structures can also "work out" to become stronger and more coordinated.

You and your children probably work closely with a speech-language pathologist.  In addition, it is important to continue to practice at home to help your child more quickly learn to control the oral structures and increase muscle strength.

There are two types of exercises you can do with your child.  Active exercises involve your child performing oral movements.  Passive exercises are exercises that you do for or to the child.

Passive exercises work well with infants who are too young to follow directions.  They can be used as warm-up exercises to "wake up" muscles before you begin active exercises.  Also, if your child has been diagnosed as "orally defensive" (very sensitive to touch), these exercises can help to desensitize the child's mouth area to touch and various textures.

Passive Exercises

- Stimulate the outside of the lips, chin, and cheeks with various textures such as cotton swabs, a toothbrush, a small vibrator, a warm or cold cloth, or a cold spoon (do not use ice because it is numbing).  Lightly touch or rub the area to be stimulated.

- Tap firmly on closed lips with two fingers.

- Rub firmly downward on cheeks toward lips and upward from chin to lips.

- Use an index finger and thumb on the corners of the mouth and stretch them outward, then release.

- Stimulate the inside of the cheek and gums with a soft toothbrush or cotton swab, rubbing gently.

- Rub downward firmly on the upper lip and upward firmly on the lower lip.

- Push down firmly on the tongue with a toothbrush or frozen-pop stick several times.  Then tickle the roof of the mouth.  Push down on the tongue several times.

- Alternate placing a small amount of food on the upper lip, the lower lip, and the roof of the mouth; then have the child reach for it and lick it off.  Use foods of different temperatures.  For example, applesauce can be warmed or refrigerated so that the child can "feel" it better.

- Hold an ice cream cone or frozen juice pop just outside the mouth and let the child lick it several times.

Your child may not be able to perform these last two exercises until later in his development.

Other Exercises Specific to Swallowing and Eating

- Rub firmly from the chin down along the throat to encourage swallowing.

- Feed the child with your finger to encourage chewing and biting.

- Place food on alternate sides of the mouth to encourage chewing.

Active Exercises

Children usually develop the ability to do these active exercises between the ages of 18 months and three years.  Use language your child can understand when giving directions to do these exercises.  It is helpful to use a mirror so your child can see the mouth and the way it is supposed to move.  Set a big mirror on the table or use the one in the bathroom so you can be side by side with your child and watch each other making "funny faces."  Do each exercise ten times and all least two to three times per day.  If your child is unable to perform a certain movement, try it once or twice, then move onto the next exercise so as not to discourage your child.  You can use your hand to help guide the tongue or lips into the proper position.  Make these exercises fun for your child, not a frustration.

- Open your mouth as wide as you can, hold for 3 seconds, then close it.

- Pucker your lips like a kiss, and push them forward as far as you can.

- Make a big smile and hold it for 3 seconds.  Then relax.

- Now alternate smile and pucker.

- Purse lips together hard.  Hold for 3 seconds.

- Puff up your cheeks by blowing with your mouth closed.  Hold for 2 - 3 seconds.  Try to make a tight seal so air doesn't escape.

- Stick out your tongue.  Make sure that you push it out in the middle of your mouth, in line with the tip of your nose.

- Try to touch your chin, then your nose, with the tip of your tongue.  (To help guide the tongue, you can use jelly, peanut butter, or other food on the upper and lower lip as a guide to the target.)  Repeat this exercise with the corners of the mouth.

- Lick your lips in a circle.  Start in one directions, then switch and go the other way.

- Put a spoon or tongue depressor against your lips and push hard against it with the tip of your tongue.  Push for 3 seconds, then relax.  Push again.  Relax.

- Drink liquids through a straw to improve lip strength.  (Check with your speech-language pathologist if swallowing problems are also present.)

- Sucking on frozen juice pops or lollipops is good for strengthening.

- Practice whistling.

- Play "blowing games" with feathers, cotton, plastic foam chips, and bubbles.

Summary

The rates at which children show improvement vary widely.  Progress depends on the severity of the problem, the nature of the disorder, and the amount of time you are able to invest in practice.  The key is to be patient and work at a speed that suits your child's needs.  You may even find that your child enjoys doing these exercises and will practice without you!  Remember, exercising can be fun!

Kathryn Morrell, M.A., CCC-SLP

Copyright 1995 by Communication Skill Builders, a division of the Psychological Corporation / 1-800-866-4446

This page may be reproduced for instructional use. / Catalog No. 3073

Helping Your Child Listen to Learn

Another handout from Kids on the Move:

Helping Your Child Listen to Learn

Why is listening important?

Children learn in many ways.  As infants, they touch, smell, and watch others.  When they are learning to talk, listening becomes even more important.  Understanding what someone says is called auditory comprehension.  As children hear and understand words, they develop their own speech and language skills.

As children approach preschool age, they learn to play together.  Sharing simple conversations and listening to each others ideas become more important as children develop friendships and language.

In school, children need to listen for longer periods of time, tuning out other noises and distractions in the classroom.  In fact, students spend more time listening in school than doing anything else.  If they develop good listening skills, they will have a better chance at succeeding in school.

What can a parent do to help?

Be absolutely sure your child hears normally

Make sure your child's hearing and fluid level in the ears are tested periodically, particularly after a cold or ear infection.  If the doctor suggests ventilation "tubes," have them inserted to prevent further disruption in your child's critical developmental years.

Speak in a way your child can understand.

- Turn down the TV, radio, and other noise sources so your child can hear you without competing noise.

- Get your child's attention before speaking to them.

- Wait until your child is looking at you (gently turn their head if you need to).

- Stand close to your child, squatting at eye level if possible.

- Speak slowly.

- Pause between thoughts.

- Give one direction at a time.

- Give your child time to think after a question.

- Say your message again, another way.

Avoid:

- long explanations or complicated directions

- using "adult-like" idioms (such as, "Try to put yourself in my shoes")

Help your child be an active listener.

Even at an early age, children can learn what helps them listen.  Here are a few suggestions:

Eliminate Distractions: When beginning a conversation or giving instructions, make sure the TV and stereo are off.  If the dishwasher or washer/dryer is nearby and making noise, move to another room.  Explain that you are doing this because it is "time to listen", and you need quiet to do so.  Discuss how hard it is to think about what someone is saying when there are other noises to think about or things to see.

Your child needs to learn to do this independently.  Give feedback and praise when he does so: "What a good idea!  That music from the video game will make it hard for us to listen to each other.  I'm glad you turned it off.  Now we can listen better."

Practice good listening behaviors: When we listen to another person speaking, we make eye contact.  It is also socially polite to stop what we are doing (reading, writing, and other activities) while listening.  Many children with listening difficulties need practice doing this.  And because they may be highly distractible, these behaviors often take their focus away from what is being said.  Social language behaviors are called pragmatic skills  by speech-language pathologists.

Talk about how looking at the person speaking helps keep your eyes away from other things (such as a colorful poster or a squirrel running up a tree).  Discuss how looking at the person who is talking makes that person feel as though what he is saying is important to the listener.

Practice this throughout the week as a family.  It is a good habit for everyone to practice, and it reinforces the concept.

After Eye Contact is practiced successfully, begin to work on the rest of the body.  When a person is listening, the body should be relatively still.  Hands should be relaxed and not tapping pencils, pulling paper clips apart, and so forth.  Feet should be quiet and still.  Practice this as a family as well.  Teach your child to be aware of what her body is and isn't doing when she is listening.

(In some cases, a child with hyperactivity may need to be allowed some non-interfering motion when listening.  Talk to a special education teacher, a psychologist, or a speech-language pathologist for individual suggestions.)

Give feedback.  Encourage your child to ask you to explain words or phrases he doesn't understand: "I don't understand that."  Sometimes children understand short phrases but get confused when they are put together in conversation.  This is called a language-processing or auditory-processing problem.

For children with listening problems, long directions are hard to remember.  Remembering what people say is called auditory memory.  By making listening a successful experience, your child will avoid "tuning out".

Talk together about how hard it is to remember so many things sometimes.  Brainstorm what to do if someone says too many things at one time.  Encourage your child to say, "I can't remember all that.  Can you tell me one thing at a time?"

Give positive praise whenever your child lets you know that she has forgotten something you've said or is trying to understand it: "I'm glad you told me this.  This time I'll tell you one thing at a time.  Are you ready?"

Use strategies to help remember.  What if your spouse wanted you to pick up four items from the supermarket?  Most of us reach for a pen, because writing the items down ensures that we will be able to follow through on the request later.  Because children are even less able to remember multiple items or directions, they too can benefit from learning to write things down.  But what if they don't know how to write yet?

- You can help your child learn to draw a simple sequence of pictures to remember the steps.  For example, suppose the directions are to "go upstairs, brush your teeth, wash your face, and put your pajamas on."  Together, you can brainstorm how to draw several pictures to remind your child what to do.  Listening and putting pictures in order is also a good way to prepare for taking notes in later school years.

- Help your child make a mental picture of what is being described (sometimes closing our eyes helps us block out distractions.)  Describe a scene, such as a farm: "I saw a farm with a white, wooden fence around the pigs.  Some of the pigs were rolling in mud.  Nearby a farmer was feeding some chickens."  Have your child draw a picture of the farm on paper.  Talk about what we "see" in our minds.

- Help your child learn to listen for "important" information during story time.  Ask simple who, what, where, or when questions, then read the next sentence or two from the story.  See if your child can remember the answers.

Patricia McAleer Hamaguchi, M.A., CCC-SLP

Copyright 1995 by Communication Skill Builders, a division of the Psychological Corporation / 1-800-866-4446

This page may be reproduced for instructional use. / Catalog No. 3073

Sign Language

Sign Language is the perfect way to help the communication process along with your children.
Many kids are able to sign long before they can speak!

This post will cover tips on using sign language with your children, instructions on how to sign some early and everyday signs, and my recommended home video's.

Tips on Using Sign Language

Keep these tips in mind as you and your child begin using signs.

Use signs that are useful for your child and a part of his life.

If the signs aren't useful, your child won't learn them or use them.

Be sure that you have your child's attention when you sign to him or show him signs.

Use the sign and word(s) together.

Repeat words verbally after your child signs them to reinforce the spoken word.

Use the signs that your child is learning in as many situations as possible.

Your child needs to see a sign many times and understand them before he will try to sign them.

Accept your child's signing attempts and try not to over-correct.

As your child begins to use signs, he may have difficulty making the sign because he can't form his hands in the shape of the sign.

Try not to anticipate your child's needs before he does.

Leave enough time for your child to recognize and express his need to communicate.

Start teaching as early as 6 months.

You can start signing when your baby is between 6 and 8 months and holds your gaze for a few seconds.

How to Sign Early and Everyday Signs

Milk: Hold your hand out in front of you - open and close in a squeezing motion (like milking a cow).

Eat/Food: close your fingers to your thumb and tap fingertips against your lips

More: close your fingers to your thumb (on both hands) and tap fingertips together.

Drink: Position hand like it is holding a cup, and "take a drink"

Finished / All Done: Hands out with palms facing you - then turn them over so palms face away

Please: Palm rubs on chest in circle

Thank You

Thank You / Your Welcome: Move open hand from your chin, going down

Play: Both hands with thumb and pinkie outstretched, and shake

Ball

Ball: Claw hands to form a ball shape.  Rotate hands alternately.

Stop: One hand moves down and is stopped by the other hand (palm up)

Help: Thumbs up on top of one hand, and move them both up

Mom: Outstretched hand, thumb taps your chin

Dad: Outstretched hand, thumb taps your forehead

Signing Time

If you are unfamiliar with the Signing Time Series, it is definitely worth checking out (see the links to Amazon on the right hand side bar as well).
They are 30 minute dvd's that teach children how to sign.

My boys LOVE them, and they were an absolute life saver with Cannon - if they impact Lincoln half as much as they did him I will be a happy mama.

Reading with Young Children

This is another compiled list of handouts I have accumulated about books and reading with your chidren.

Some of it is obvious, but it does have some good suggestions for improvement.

Reading with Young Children

The goal of reading to children is for them to gain a lifelong love of books.

Make reading out loud to children a daily ritual: 

• 
  
  
  Choose the same time and place, and make it a high priority.
• 
  
  
  Choose a quiet area that is free of distractions; with soft, comfortable, well-lit surroundings.
• 
  
  
  One of our major goals as parents is to teach our children how to communicate effectively. This includes reading, writing, speaking and listening. Reading aloud strenghens these communication skills.

Introduce the book:

• 
  
  
  Introduce the title, author, illustrator, and book cover.
• 
  
  
  Ask questions: What do they thnk the book will be about?

Look at the pictures:

• 
  
  
  What does the picture tell?
• 
  
  
  Have your younger children try and tell you what the story is about simply by looking at the pictures.

Use facial expressions and body movements:

• 
  
  
  Model your excitement for reading.
• 
  
  
  Rather than sitting your child on your lap facing the same direction, turn them around and hold the book under your chin. They still get to see the book, but they also get to see you (your expressions, how you pronounce words, etc.)

Change your voice for different characters:

• 
  
  
  The tone of your voice should express the characters' feelings.
• 
  
  
  Your coice should sound exciting and interesting

Talk about the story:

• 
  
  
  What do they think will happen?
• 
  
  
  Encourage them to ask questions.

Keep children involved and excited:

• 
  
  
  Some children may need to act out the story.
• 
  
  
  Use puppets with children who need to develop their listening skills.

Make sure the book is interesting to the children:

• 
  
  
  Can they relate to the characters?
• 
  
  
  Choose books with limited text and engaging pictures.

Read favorite books over and over again:

• 
  
  
  The repetition supports word recognition.

Why Read to your Child?

• 
  
  
  Strengthen communication skills: reading, writing, speaking.
• 
  
  
  To build a positive relationship with books and reading; giving your child a desire to read
• 
  
  
  To help children learn to read more easily and confidently when the time comes (without pushing)
• 
  
  
  To improve listening skills
• 
  
  
  To expand vocabulary
• 
  
  
  To teach more complex sentence structure
• 
  
  
  To improve memory
• 
  
  
  To provide a setting for warmth, attention, security, and sometimes a calming break in tensions
• 
  
  
  To expand a child's understanding of himself; arousing imagination, emotions and sympathies
• 
  
  
  To expand a child's understanding of his world; promoting discussion of both the commonplace and the extraordinary.
• 
  
  
  To strengthen reader's relationship with the child; helping understand each other through reactions to and discussion of boks.
• 
  
  
  For fun.

Books for Different Ages:

Infants:

• 
  
  
   Sturdy board books babies can chew on
• 
  
  
   Books without words
• 
  
  
   Books of babies
• 
  
  
   Books about everyday objets (food, toys, animals, etc.)
• 
  
  
   Books containing photos of familiar people

Toddlers:

• 
  
  
   Sturdy books that can be carried and dropped
• 
  
  
   Books with few words
• 
  
  
   Books of familiar activities (playing, eating, sleeping, etc.)
• 
  
  
   Bedtime books
• 
  
  
   Books about going places
• 
  
  
   Books with simple rhymes and predicatble texts
• 
  
  
   Books of familiar songs

Pre-Schoolers:

• 
  
  
  Books with more words that tell stories (with lots of pitures but only a few sentences on the page)
• 
  
  
  Books about children with similar experiences (going to preschool, spending the night at a friend's house, going to the doctor, etc.)
• 
  
  
  Books about friends
• 
  
  
  Books about families
• 
  
  
  Books with predictable story lines and repeated phrases

Turn-Taking with Communication

Another helpful handout combined with personal notes I received from a class at Kids on the Move.

This talks specifically about how to use 'turn-taking' to encourage communication with your children.

Conversation: Turn-Taking with Communication

When we talk about conversations, we are really saying that we take turns listening to and talking with our conversational partner about our daily experiences, feelings and ideas - we are taking turns as we communicate.  Interactive turn-taking is a foundation to prepare for more mature conversations.  It helps to develop the habit of attending to and responding to each other in turns.  Turn-taking can be practiced with your actions and voice, like blinking your eyes, imitating gestures, putting toys in a box or playing with cooing, babbling, or animal sounds.  Through turn-taking you build a "give-and-take" relationship in a conversational style.

A basic assumption of language is that the child learns to communicate and acquire speech and language during all daily interactions and conversation with you.  The child's receptive and expressive language grows through watching, listening and having conversational turns with you about what is important.  Thus, the more turn-taking and conversations you do together the more the child will learn how to communicate and acquire speech and language.

My Turn / Your Turn

Here are 3 strategies to help your child communicate more effectively by taking turns.

1. 
   
   Follow Your Child's Lead
• 
  
  Give your child a chance to communicate
• 
  
  Stop and watch your child
• 
  
  Do what your child does; imitate your child in whatever activity they are doing
2. 
   
   Keep It Going
• 
  
  Put yourself down at your child's physical level
• 
  
  Get down to eye level - they wont feel so overwhelmed, and they'll recognize that you are paying attention to them
• 
  
  Try not to anticipate your child's needs (play dumb)
• 
  
  Give them a chance to initiate interaction
• 
  
  By playing dumb, you are forcing your child to communicate, rather than just providing them all of their needs.  Pretend not to know what they want.
• 
  
  Its all about timing.  You want to challenge your child, but don't force them over the edge into a tantrum.  Once your child is tantruming, they are past the 'teachable' point.
• 
  
  Watch and listen carefully
• 
  
  Feel the need to respond to whatever sound/imitation they do (forces them into interaction)
• 
  
  Their attempts may be small or hard to recognize, so pay attention
• 
  
  Reaching, looking, and making a noise are all attempts at interaction
• 
  
  Give meaning to their initiations
• 
  
  Respond as much as possible.
• 
  
  If you don't understand what your child is saying, don't reply with "oh, really?", or "ok", etc.  These phrases don't give meaning to anything.  Instead:
• 
  
  Turn their actions/words into something.
• 
  
  For example: if baby is babbling "ba, ba, ba", you say, "ba, ba, ba, baby!", or "yep, here is a book".  Always make it meaningful.
3. 
   
   Help Your Child Go Further
• 
  
  Things that may discourage your child from taking a turn
• 
  
  Caregiver taking too many turns (uninterupted repetition)
• 
  
  Don't be afraid to wait
• 
  
  Expect a response from your child when it is their turn
• 
  
  Say "do you want more?"... and look at them like you expect an answer.  It may take time for them to process what you are asking.  Wait 2-5 seconds, and if they don't respond, say something like "yep, here is some more".
• 
  
  Doing the activity at a different level than your child
• 
  
  Not sharing a topic with your child
• 
  
  Not attending to quiet turns

How You Talk with your Child is Important

I went to a speech and language class and learned some interesting facts.

Naturally I failed to write down the source, so I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

A study was being conducted among children concerning speech and language.

They found that some kids were significantly more advanced than others.

After surveying the parents, they found that the majority of advanced children had parents that followed these

basic speaking/questioning patterns:

Basically the ways parents represented things to their children were categorized into 3 groups: Yes/No quesitons, Modeling words, and "Wh" questions.

- Yes/No Questions: only requires child to say either a'yes" or "no"

- Modeling words: this involves everyday things, like your child pointing to a sippy cup and you saying "you want juice?"  In a nut shell it involves all commenting and naming.

- "Wh" questions: asks 'who', 'what', 'when' 'where'.  'Why' is usually not included for this particular exercise.

These 3 categories are naturally a part of every parents' speaking pattern.  The study showed however, that the advanced children had parents who used certain tactics more than others.

From that study, percentages were calculated to determine how much of each category should be used in daily life to help increase your child's speech and language abilities:

- Yes/No Questions: 10%

- Modeling Words: 50%

- "Wh" Questions: 40%

Modeling words makes up half because this teaches children how to label, express and understand the world around them.  It also provides them with correct speaking habits.  Not to mention the fact that it is what you are always doing, whether you are talking to your child or not.

The biggest difference in the study was the number of parents who tried to steer clear of Yes/No questions.  These questions severely limit your child's ability to express himself or his vocabulary, as well as the mental capacity it takes to answer "wh" questions.

Not to say that there is never a time for yes/no questions, but the researches recommended trying to turn those into "wh" questions instead.

For example: Instead of saying "It's time for bed.  Would you like me to take you?"  You could say "It's time for bed.  How do you want to get there?"

This helps your child by allowing him more opportunities to speak, forces him to use a bigger vocabulary, and of course express himself more completely than a simple yes or no could.

I though that was a pretty simple way to implement big changes in your children's speech and language abilities.

If you want more specific ways to help improve your interaction, here is another handout I recieved...

How you Talk with your Child is Important

by Diann D.Grimm, M.A., C.C.C., Ed.S.

You can use everyday routines and events to help your child learn language.  Chldren learn words and the rules for using them by listening to others talk.  Then they imitate the language they have heard.  Your child is using you as a "model" for correct language.  Therefore, what you say - and how you say it - is an important influence on your child!

Talk about the here and now

It helps children understand when you talk about objects, people, and events that can be seen, heard, and touched.  So talk about events as they happen.  Say "I put the ball in the box" while doing the action.  Name objects that the child can see.  "A doggie!  Look at the doggie!"  Talk about people around you.  "There's a police officer.  She helps us."

Talk about what is important to your child

Help your child learn to listen by talking about things that interest the child.  If your child is playing with blocks on the floor, it's a good time to say, "Those are big blocks.  This one is red."

Remember that what is interesting to your child may not be interesting to you.  Children are experimenting and learning about the world.  Common objects such as pots and pans, boxes, and rocks can be interesting to them.

Talk out loud about what you are doing

Any time you are with your child is a time for language learning.  By putting your thoughts and actions into words, you are teaching your child language.  Use simple phrases and sentences to describe what you are doing, seeing, and thinking.  For example, while making a cake: "I'm putting in the eggs.  Now I'm mixing the batter.  Going around and around.  It needs more flour.  I'll put in a little more."

At times, talk for your child

Your child is able to think before being able to express those thoughts.  You can help by sometimes putting thoughts into words for your child.  By doing this, you give your child words and sentences to remember for future use.  You may need to guess what your chid is thinking at the moment.  If your child is playing, you might say: "That's a big car.  Make it go.  It goes so fast.  There's a little car.  It can go too."

It helps to talk about what your child is doing or seeing.  It is also important to put your child's feelings into words.  Your child experiences a wide range of emotions daily.  The child may not have words to express these feelings. You can help your child understand emotions by labeling them. For example: "I can see that you are angry.  Tommy broke your tape recorder.  But now we can fix it."

Expand your child's remarks

Child: "Juice."

Parent: "You want juice."

Child: "Doggie run."

Parent: "The doggie runs fast."

This strategy is called "expansion."  In using expansion, the parent above did not change the child's meaning.  The parent merely made the child's remark slightly longer.  As a result, the child heard a good language model.  In addition, the parent did not "correct" the child's remark or require the child to repeat the expanded remark.  The use of expansion is s non-threatening way to model good language for your child.

Add a little more information to your child's remark

In addition to expanding your child's remark, you can build on what your child has already said by adding new information.  Your remark can include your child's original thought plus a new idea.  Use simple sentences to add new information.  For example:

Child: "Truck there."

Parent: "Yes, there's a big red truck."

Child: "Doggie bark."

Parent: "The doggie is barking.  He likes to bark and make noise."

Don't ask your child to repeat what you say

You only need to provide good language models.  Your child will learn without repeating, and without your "correcting" mistakes.  Gradually, your child will learn to say things the way you do - without pressure and at the child's own pace.

Praise your child's language attempts

Keep talking.  And keep learning fun!

Vocabulary

Expand - Build upon what your child said.  Add a few words to make a complete sentence or correct expression.  Expansion gives your child a model of correct speech.  It also shows your child that you have understood the child's remark.

Model - To provide an example of good speech or other behavior; to demonstrate a desired verbal response.

Refer to: 5.0 Articles on Home Activites for Speech and Language Development

Key Social, Emotional, and Communication Milestones

This is another handout I received from Kids on the Move.

Is Your Baby Meeting These Important Milestones?

Key Social, Emotional, and Communication Milestones for Your Baby's Healthy Development

By

Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D.

Barry M. Prizant, Ph.D., CCC-SLP

Amy Wetherby, Ph.D., CCC-SLP

The milestones in this chart are important to a child's healthy learning, behavior, and development.  While each child develops differently, some differences may indicate a slight delay and others may be a cause for greater concern.  The following milestones provide important guidelines for tracking healthy development from four months to three years of age.  These milestones should not be used in place of a screening, but should be used as discussion points between parents and physicians at each well visit.  If a child does not have the skills listed - or if there is a loss of any skill at any age - be sure to let your physician know.

Does your Baby...

At 4 months:

• 
  
  Follow and react to bright colors, movement, and objects?
• 
  
  Turn toward sounds?
• 
  
  Show interest in watching people's faces?
• 
  
  Smile back when you smile?

At 6 months:

• 
  
  Relate to you with real joy?
• 
  
  Smile often while playing with you?
• 
  
  Coo or babble when happy?
• 
  
  Cry when unhappy?

At 9 months:

• 
  
  Smile and laugh while looking at you?
• 
  
  Exchange back-and-forth smiles, loving faces, and other expressions with you?
• 
  
  Exchange back-and-forth sounds with you?
• 
  
  Exchange back-and-forth gestrues with you, such as giving, taking, and reaching?

At 12 months:

• 
  
  Use a few gestures, one after another, to get needs mets; like giving, showing, reaching, waving, and pointing?
• 
  
  Play peek-a-boo, patty cake, or other social games?
• 
  
  Make sounds, like "ma," "ba," "na," "da," and "ga?"
• 
  
  Turn to the person speaking when his/her name is called?

At 15 months:

• 
  
  Exchange with you many back-and-forth smiles, sounds, and gestures in a row?
• 
  
  Use pointing or other "showing" gestures to draw attention to something of interest?
• 
  
  Use different sounds to get needs met and draw attention to something of interest?
• 
  
  Use and understand at least three words, such as "mama," "dada," "bottle," or bye-bye?

At 18 months:

• 
  
  Use a lot of gestures with words to get needs met, like pointing or taking you by the hand and saying, "want juice"?
• 
  
  Use at least four different consonants in babbling or words, such as m, n, p, b, t, and d?
• 
  
  Use and understnad at least 10 words?
• 
  
  Show that he or she knows the names of familiar people or body parts by pointing to or looking at them when they are named?
• 
  
  Do simple pretend play, like feeding a doll or stuffed animal, and attracting your attention by looking up at you?

At 24 months:

• 
  
  Do pretend play with you with more than one action, like feeding the doll and then putting the doll to sleep?
• 
  
  Use and understand at least 50 words?
• 
  
  Use at least two words together (without imitating or repeating) and in a way that makes sense, like "want juice"?
• 
  
  Enjoy being next to children of the same age and show interest in playing with them, perhaps giving a toy to another child?
• 
  
  Look for familiar objects out of sight when asked?

At 36 months:

• 
  
  Enjoy pretending to play different characters with you or talking for dolls or action figures?
• 
  
  Enjoy playing with children of the same age, perhaps showing and telling another child about a favorite toy?
• 
  
  Use thoughts and actions together in speech and in play in a way that makes sense, like "sleepy, go take nap" and "baby hungry, feed bottle"?
• 
  
  Answer "what," "where," and "who" questions easily?
• 
  
  Talk about interests and feelings about the past and the future?

Red Flags

If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:

• 
  
  No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter (1)
• 
  
  No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressins by nine months or thereafter (1)
• 
  
  No babbling by 12 months (2)
• 
  
  No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months (2)
• 
  
  No words by 16 months (2)
• 
  
  No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months (2)
• 
  
  ANY loss of speech or babbling or social skills at ANY age (2)

(1) Greenspan, S.I. (1999) Building Healthy Minds, Perseus Books

(2) Filipek, P.A., et al. Practice parameter: Screening and diagnosis of autism, Neurology 2000, 55: 468-79.

The key social, emotional, and communication milestones were compiled and adapted with permission from the following sources: Greenspan, S.I. (1999) Building Healthy Minds, Perseus Books; Prizzant, B. M., Wetherby, A.M., Roberts, J.E. (2000) Communication Disorders in Infants and Toddlers, In C. Zeanah (Ed.) Handbook of Infant Mental Health, Second Edition, New York: Guilford Press; and Wetherby, A.M. (1999) Babies Learn to Talk at an Amazing Rate, FIRST WORDS Project, Florida State University.

The authors wish to thank the following people who contributed to these milestones: Ilene Beal; Frances P. Glascoe, Ph.D.; Rebecca Landa, Ph.D.; and Robert H. Wharton, M.D.

2001 First Signs, Inc. All rights reserved.

Expressive Language Development

Expressive Language Development

by

Sharon Hendrickson - Pfeil, M.S., M.A., CCC

You may be wondering if your child is learning to talk "on time" or if your child's speech and language development is delayed.  Parents of children with special needs are often concerned about expressive language development, since language delays may be caused or complicated by a wide range of problems.

Some conditions which delay language development are hearing loss, physical disabilities which interfere with learning experiences,problems which directly interfere with speech (such as cleft palate), and overall delays in development and learning.

Most children learn to talk in predictable stages.  This is true even for many children whose language development is delayed.  You should become familiar with the normal process of speech and language development, so you can better help your child learn to communicate.

Preparing for Language

During the first few months of life, babies are already learning to use the senses and the parts of the body which will be necessary for speech.  They begin to develop attention, memory, and listening skills.  They also learn to control adults by gestures and by different kinds of crying.

Here's how most babies develop the skills that lead up to speech:

During the first month: Vowel-like sounds and crying emerge.

By 2 months: Baby is able to produce different kinds of cries.

By 3 months: Baby begins using m, p, and b, which are made with the lips and are easy to see and imitate.

Over the next few months, babies begin to use their voices in ways other than crying.  They learn to vary their tone of voice to express different feelings, and new sounds start to emerge.  Now, the baby begins to stop making sounds while being addressed by an adult.  Your child is really listening to you!

By 6 months: May spend long periods of time making sounds. May begin producing simple syllables, such as ma and pa.  This vocal play is a very important foundation for spoken language, which will emerge within the next 6 months.

The Beginnings of Language

The second 6 months are increasingly dedicated to "making things happen."  Babies learn how to make the same sounds over and over again.  They learn to control adults by using gestures.  They learn how to imitate adults' speech sounds.  Your baby will show enjoyment while you play together and will begin to take part in simple turn-taking routines such as bath time, mealtime, and simple games such as "peek-a-boo."  Gradually, babies put these skills together and learn to use their first real words.

Here are some milestones in this learning process.

By 7 months: Begin to put two syllables together while babbling.  Some sounds begin to sound almost like real words.  Vocal play is more frequent.

By 9 months: May "sing along" with music and has probably learned to play "peek-a-boo" or "pat-a-cake."  Can babble a number of different syllables and is learning to produce new sounds.  Asks for toys or food by pointing and making sounds.  Shakes head for "no!"

By 10 to 12 months: Tries to imitate new words and usually says fist words.  More sentence-like sounds are present.  May "talk" to family members without using true words.  May make sounds as if singing along while listening to music and may wave "bye-bye" when asked to.

By 1 year: The baby who is developing language normally will use from one to three spoken words.  However, these words may have uncommon and unexpected meanings - baby may use bird for not just birds but also kites and even airplanes!

Developing Early Conversational Skills

During the second year, most children will learn about fifty new words.  They are learning to understand simple turn-taking rules and are beginning to really converse with adults.

By 18 months: Toddler repeats some over-heard words and usually tries to communicate using real words - not just gestures.  May begin getting ready to put phrases together by linking single words with a long pause in between:

"Mommy . . . cookie!"

"Doggie . .. go!"

"All gone . . . milk."

By 2 years: Most children use simple two-word phrases such as bye-bye daddy or more cookie.  Since they have become skillful at joining single words, pauses between words decrease.  During this year, the child begins making different kinds of short phrases in order to talk about objects, locations, and actions.  The two-year-old will use words to control adults' behavior, to request toys, to answer questions and of course, to reject some foods or, perhaps, a wet washcloth.

By 2 1/2 years: Children use more short phrases than signle words.  They usually begin to put together some three-and four-word phrases.  At this age, your child will probably sit with you and go through a picture book, repeating names of animals or vehicles and making the appropriate noises.  More turn-taking is obvious during conversations.

Mastering Language Forms

The three-year-old is rapidly mastering grammatical skills.

Children between two and three years old use very simple phrases; they often omit many word endings and small "helping words" (such as is, are, and and).

In contrast, three-year-olds are rapidly learning to use verb tenses, helping verbs, and other language forms to talk about past experiences as well as about what is going on in the present.

They can use many different kinds of words in conversation.  At this age,children learn to join short sentences together to make longer ones and begin to use plurals (cars, cookies).  They use some basic prepositions (such as on, off, in, and out) and adjectives (such as big and little) to describe things.

Language uses are expanding at this age.  The three-year-old asks "what," "where," and "who" questions and is able to discuss a single topic over several listener-speaker turns.  Many three-year-olds will use language imiginatively while playing with dolls and toy animals.

What do children need in order to develop expressive language skills?

Talk with your child!  Children learn to use new words, grammatical forms, and rules for conversation by listening.  Teach your child the names of toys, family members, pets, foods, clothing, and places you visit together.  Talk about the activities such as playing, cooking, shopping, and household chores that you share with your child.  Really listen to whatever your child has to say, rather than asking questions or trying to make your child repeat words after you say them.

What if my child is slow in learning to talk?

See a speech-language pathologist if you think your child is late in developing expressive language skills.  This specialist will determine whether threre is a problem with your child's language.  If help is needed, the speech-language pathologist will recommend an individual program of activities and will provide therapy if appropriate.

Summary

The first three years of life provide the foundation for the development of expressive language.  The three-year-old has the ability to participate in conversations and can communicate effectively in simple but complete sentences.  Remember, the more you talk with your very young child, the more you help you child learn to talk.